


Absolution

by Kissa



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec Lightwood Deserves Nice Things, Bottom Alec Lightwood, Cemetery, Confessional, Confessions, Cute, Demons, First Kiss, First Time, First Time Blow Jobs, First Time Bottoming, First Time Topping, Forbidden Love, Getting Together, Happy Ending, Hunting Demons, Insecure Alec Lightwood, Jace Wayland Deserves Nice Things, Jace Wayland Feels, Late at Night, M/M, Moon, Parabatai, Parabatai Feels, Protective Jace Wayland, Religious Content, Secret Relationship, Wall Sex, Young Love, ace Jace, church
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-13
Updated: 2021-01-13
Packaged: 2021-03-18 08:02:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28739943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kissa/pseuds/Kissa
Summary: Alec and Jace find themselves on the two sides of a confessional window. When Alec confesses his deepest sins, Jace realises what he needs to do and, in typical Jace manner, he springs into action and does exactly what they both sorely needed.
Relationships: Alec Lightwood/Jace Wayland
Comments: 11
Kudos: 40





	Absolution

Jace followed the demon into the church. This must have been a pretty powerful one, choosing to go into a church to hide in, of all places.  
  
He saw the demon take the face of the priest that just left the confessional. But the old lady that was on the other side was also a demon, Jace could tell by the strange glow in her eyes.  
  
He thought his options through. Sadly, he could not get both demons with one shot, but maybe, if he chose the correct order? 

Alec would have been of use, with his bow. But who knew where Alec was, pretty far from there most likely, and Jace liked it that way for Alec’s sake and safety. He had definitely tracked down the most dangerous demon, and it turned out it had a date with an equally dangerous demon, if they could meet up in a church.  
  
Jace activated his speed rune and took the runed dagger he kept on his belt, aiming and throwing it at the old lady. When she burst into flames and vanished, he was already in the booth where the priest was, driving his sword through him.  
  
The demons disappeared without leaving the usual horrible stench and ichor behind, probably because of the angelic energies in the church.  
  
Jace sat down on the priest’s spot in the confessional, finally allowing himself to catch his breath and losing track of time.  
  
He had taken out six demons on his own. Somehow, he’d gotten separated from Izzy and Alec, but he was certain there were no more demons around. Now he was realising how tired he was and how desperately he needed some water. His throat was parched.  
  
He couldn’t catch his breath for long, because soon he heard someone sit in the confessional on the other side of the panel.  
  
“Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. My last confession was when I was twelve. I’m twenty now, so it’s been a while.” 

Jace recognised Alec’s voice and froze. A part of him wanted to burst out of his side of the confessional and let Alec know he was alright after the big hunt they’d completed that evening. But his curiosity won over his good intentions and he coughed, his voice coming out raspy when he spoke.  
  
“The Lord is listening.”  
  
Alec took a deep breath and started.  
  
“Are you sure you can listen? I’m gay and I know you guys don’t approve of it.”  
  
“Times change. Pope Francis said gay people are also children of God. Tell me what weighs on your soul.” Jace said, rolling his eyes. Of course Alec would give a priest a content warning and then have nothing even remotely sinful to confess. He briefly thought of the list of sins he could spill, enough to drive a cardinal to despair. There was a good reason Jace did not set foot in churches other than, like on that evening, to hunt demons.  
  
“Really? I didn’t know. In that case…” Alec said, sighing in relief. “I don’t listen to my parents. I shame my family by not doing my best. I am jealous and envious, I lie and deceive, I have anger in my heart and I’m in love with someone who’s off limits.”  
  
Jace cursed under his breath. He was ready to bet ninety per cent of that list was Alec being too harsh on himself.  
  
“I am sure your parents are proud of you. Sometimes, parents are harsh and don’t show much love. But privately they do value their children.” Jace said. Words came easily when it was about comforting Alec, because he got to watch first hand how Maryse humiliated him and shot him down daily. Every time Alec did something good, Maryse found some flaw in it or found a reason to praise Jace a lot more, sometimes even undeserved.  
  
“Not mine.” Alec said, huffing a bit. “It’s my fault. My brother and sister are perfectly able to meet their demands.”  
  
“Parents also often pick favourite children. Maybe your mother favours your brother, and your father favours your sister. There’s books on that.”   
  
“I’m often envious of my sister, although I love her a lot too. She has such an easy time, she is beautiful and skilled and everyone likes her. No one likes me. I’m no one’s first choice. Except for my para- uh, I mean, my brother. But I’m sure he regrets that daily.”  
  
“Don’t be so hard on yourself. It’s not fair to assume how others feel about you and not believe their words.”  
  
“Oh and about that, I… I don’t want what’s on offer. I want what I can’t have.”  
  
“This off limits person you spoke of?”  
  
“Yes. Every day I poison myself with unclean thoughts. And touch myself in the dark thinking of him.”  
  
“Is he _hot_?” Jace asked, pretty sure by now Alec was talking about Magnus and how he couldn’t date him because Maryse would wear him like a glove if she found out her son fancied a warlock.   
  
“He is the hottest. Father, you have no idea. It is like angels and demons came together and made the most tempting vessel for the purest soul.”  
  
“He sounds like he is worth fighting for and not feeling guilty about it.”  
  
“I don’t feel guilty about loving him. I just hate that he’s off limits and no amount of fighting for it will make it possible.”  
  
“Hate is not a productive feeling. What is stopping you? Race? Wealth? Parents’ approval? All of those aren’t real obstacles for true love.”  
  
“Father, no, that’s not it. He’s like my brother. And he is straight. I think he would never want to see me again if he knew how I love him.”  
  
Jace gasped. That was unexpected. He had been so sure that Alec had grown out of his crush. By the time he had realised he loved Alec in that way too, it had been too late. Alec had become… closed off, morose, and had been burdened with so much responsibility and guilt, that growing up had erased the smile from his face and Jace hadn’t dared say anything anymore, not wanting to further sadden his parabatai.  
  
“What did I say about believing people’s feelings? You said he has the… purest soul. That doesn’t sound like someone prone to hate.”  
  
“Still, I could not live on if I told him how I feel and he looked at me with disgust or disappointment. I will keep loving him in secret… he deserves to be happy with someone he loves!”  
  
Jace thought long and hard what to say to that. Alec was so attached to his self-defeating thoughts, even protective of them. Maryse’s conditioning had eroded his ability to see the good in himself. Suddenly, it became clear to Jace that whoever was able to break Alec out of his misery loop, even for just one moment, would get to keep his heart forever. He also thought of Magnus Bane, of how he always made sure to give Alec the most attention and the most compliments. It wasn’t hard to see the long game the warlock was playing, now that Jace was really looking. Of course he could see clearly - they were in a church and churches were the ideal spot for revelations!  
  
“Father?” Alec asked, unsure. “You’ve gone quiet.”  
  
Alec’s heart sank when he heard the door to the other side of the confessional creak open and footsteps of someone stepping out. Surely, he had disgusted the poor priest with how morally corrupt he was and his many sins were too much to forgive in one sitting.  
  
But then the door to his side was nearly ripped out of its hinges and Jace stood in its place, panting. Alec gasped at seeing who he had confessed to. Jace's eyes read: “you are so full of shit, I can’t even with you right now!”

However, that was not what left his lips.  
  
He held his hand out for Alec to take.  
  
“I think I’ve heard enough, Alec. I could never hate you, just so you know. Much less for loving me. Because, guess what. I love you too!”  
  
“You do? I mean, yes, you do, but not in that way. We’d get deruned! Exiled. Mother would be furious!”  
  
“Fuck the Clave and most importantly, fuck Maryse. They don’t have to know.” Jace said and took Alec’s hand in his, walking towards the side exit, towards the small historic cemetery around the church. “And even if they do find out. At least we’ll have each other. I’m not going to stand around and wonder what if, while that warlock lures you to him.”  
  
“So you’re jealous!” Alec said, sadly. “Otherwise you wouldn’t have said anything.”  
  
“Actually, I’m grateful to Magnus. He showed me the right thing to do. Now come. This church is not the right setting for what’s next.”  
  
Alec followed Jace out, feeling his heart beat frantically in his chest.  
  
“Why did you wait so long to say something?” He asked, trying to switch his mind’s focus away from the nervousness.  
  
“Curiosity, I guess. And masochism, in the beginning. I thought you were talking about Magnus at first.”  
  
“Mm, no. He’s cute and all but… I’m twenty, he’s three hundred plus.” Alec said honestly. “I’d have like... Ten years, tops, before I become yesterday’s news.”  
  
“Instead, you could have me - here today, not sure about tomorrow. With the way demons are crawling up our asses these days.”  
  
“Jace. Don’t be profane. We are on holy ground.” Alec chided.  
  
“How’s this for profane?” Jace asked and turned towards Alec, slamming him into the wall of a crypt they were walking past and standing on tiptoes to kiss him. It was sloppy at first, catching Alec unaware and making their lips smush together in a not so smooth way.  
  
But everything was good, because Alec smiled and kissed back, and for many moments, the world around them disappeared and it was just them, kissing, lost in each other, their bond singing contentedly between them.  
  
Jace’s hands roamed Alec’s body, sneaking under the shirt collar and under the hem, feeling the warm skin and the soft fuzz underneath.  
  
He wasn’t sure what he was doing, but once he had touched Alec, he knew he could not stop.  
  
“In case it’s unclear. I want you, Alec. I’ve been in love with you for so long now, but I thought I was too late. And now I started to see that if I didn’t say anything, someone else would win your heart.”  
  
“I was kind of dreading that, to be honest,” Alec said softly, his eyes nearly completely black and his lips red and shiny from the kisses. He continued, just as Jace buried his face in the side of his neck and sucked a massive mark into the soft skin there, biting down on the same spot and earning himself a startled moan from his parabatai. “I can’t picture myself loving anyone but you. You’re in my blood, Jace.”  
  
Jace made a sound halfway between a growl and a moan at Alec’s words. He knew exactly what that felt like. For the last two years, he had tried to be the tough guy, the mature guy, and date left and right. But when push came to shove, he lost interest and bailed and it was like no one was attractive from up close. No one but Alec.  
  
Affection with Alec was easy and came naturally. They would lie in bed together, reading strategy books, or spend whole afternoons sparring and teaching each other new cool moves. Hodge already called them The Marrieds, with no trace of malice in the words. Everyone knew parabatai were close, and Alec and Jace had the extra excuse of being very young and very cute.  
  
The only person who seemed to be critical of them being so close was Robert, but Jace had always assumed it was because he had once had a parabatai too, Jace’s own father, and he was afraid history would repeat itself. But there was no chance of that.  
  
“Do you want to go back home?” Jace asked. “This might not be the most romantic spot.”  
  
“No, here is just fine for now. I don’t want to feel judgy eyes on me, at least for a while.” Alec said, perfectly aware why Jace was asking. “I’m all yours for the night. And actually, forever. Just… we do have to report back to mother at some point.” He said, smiling sheepishly at his pragmatic thoughts.  
  
“Luckily, I think ahead.” Jace said, still not pausing his greedy exploration of Alec’s body.  
  
It was night by now, and the only light they had was the diffuse glow of the moon. No one would bother them there, in the cemetery, at night, except maybe for some Goth kids or the odd drunk, mundanes who couldn’t see them anyway.  
  
“You got so hot.” Jace commented, biting at a spot on Alec’s lower belly. “I nearly ripped my cock off thinking of you after we sparred, all this past year. Sometimes in the morning and at night too.”

Alec felt himself grow impossibly harder in his jeans. All this time, he had thought Jace was out there fucking his way through the Downworld… and Jace was next door, thinking of him as he rubbed himself off? That was hot beyond belief, but also kind of dumb. They had both been idiots.

He reached down and helped Jace open his jeans and belt. His weapons belt clattered to the ground and he gasped when he felt Jace impatiently run his open mouth along the outline of his cock through the fabric of his underwear.

Alec told himself not to think, lest he chicken out. This was what he had been wanting for so long and he didn’t want Jace to stop. Even if what they did ended up awkward or painful or plain weird, they would have so many other opportunities to find what suited them - for now, all he wanted was for Jace to finally make him his. And he was not in the least bothered by it all taking place in a cemetery at night.  
  
“Oh, fuuuu-” he gasped, when Jace freed his cock from his underwear and took it into his mouth. Not licking shyly, not holding back.  
  
They were both so young and so horny on the regular, Alec knew he at least could come from the wind blowing at a different angle. It didn’t take Jace long to get him to that point, on the very edge, and then he swallowed him to the hilt, choking and messily pulling back. Alec looked down at Jace, who was sucking his cock like it was the only thing that mattered and watching him with shining eyes swimming in unshed tears of exertion, but not showing any signs of tiring.  
  
And then Jace looked for Alec’s hand on the wall of the crypt, weaving their fingers together and squeezing while he blinked reassuringly.  
  
Alec came hard, Jace swallowing around his shaft prolonging the intense pleasure and making his knees turn to water. Instead of oozing down to the ground, strong hands held him up and soon Jace was standing too, pressing Alec against the wall again and fumbling with his own jeans.  
  
Alec helped this time, unbuckling first the weapons belt and then Jace’s jeans, opening them excitedly, like he was unwrapping a present.  
  
He took a moment to feel the weight and size of Jace’s cock in his hand, noting with satisfaction Jace was a bit bigger than him. Not by much, but still enough to make Alec feel unreasonably lucky. When he made to turn around and bend, like he had seen in an explicit graffiti downtown, Jace stopped him.  
  
Jace reached into his pocket and pulled out a small tube, which he uncapped and squeezed a gel-like substance out of.  
  
“Don’t turn around yet, I want to see you.” Jace commanded, his voice thick with arousal as he brought his fingers around Alec, finding his entrance and rubbing the cool gel on it.  
  
Alec gasped and rested his head on Jace’s shoulder, feeling his contours blur. It wasn’t the most comfortable position and it was anything but romantic, but it was them and his earlier bout of guilt in a church had led to his life taking a turn for the best. He could deal with a couple of minutes of _uncomfortable_ .  
  
Jace barely had two fingers inside him by now, and enough lube, at least according to Alec’s impatient standards.  
  
“Please… Jace, I can’t wait any longer. I’m ready, make me yours.” He begged, something telling him Jace would yield at those words. He’d noticed that Jace loved it when he said “please” on the occasions when Jace had him pinned to the training mat, having subdued him yet again. 

“Now how could I be expected to resist that?” Jace whispered, withdrawing his fingers and wiping them on his jacket. Next, he put strong hands on Alec’s waist, lifting him and pushing his back into the wall behind. Alec's legs went around Jace effortlessly, as though they'd done this countless times before.   
  
Jace was unusually strong even without the stamina rune. And Alec was skinnier than he should have been, for his age and occupation, so it was no problem for Jace to position him properly and get a good grip, also lining himself up and waiting for Alec’s go.  
  
Alec could only nod eagerly and Jace lowered him onto his cock, cursing with his face hidden for a moment in the front of Alec’s shirt. 

“By all the angels, Alec. You feel so fucking amazing.” Jace breathed out. He couldn’t think, for the life of him, why he had danced around his emotions for so long. Yes, they were awfully young, but two years to gather his courage to tell his gorgeous parabatai he loved him and wanted him… that was a bit too much for his taste.  
  
Alec, on the other hand, had tears in his eyes, tears that were threatening to spill any moment. He had definitely overestimated how ready he was and Jace first breaching him and lowering him onto his cock had stung for a pretty long time. But he would put up with that burn and discomfort every day for the rest of his life, if it came along with the utter contentment he felt from finally having Jace inside him. It was so intimate, so raw, so open between them and he melted in Jace’s arms, loving every little detail about the current moment.  
  
Despite the initial pain and the somewhat unusual angle, he was soon hard again and rubbing against Jace’s lower belly with each bouncing motion. He tried to hold on to Jace, but his hands kept slipping on the fabric of Jace’s shirt, so he slipped his hands under the shirt, on bare skin, his fingertips digging in whenever he slipped.  
  
They were frantic and rushed, very little finesse to their movements as they both looked for their release within the other. What they lacked in practice and smoothness, they made up for in strength and passion. And now and then, Jace’s cock would hit a spot inside Alec that made him see stars.  
  
“I’m not going to last,” Jace warned. “Gonna come all up inside you, Alec. Mark you as mine. How do you like that?”  
  
“Yes, yes! I want that, please! Fuck, Jace, come, come inside me, make me yours.” Alec babbled needily.  
  
Jace thrust up inside him a few more times, his teeth latching on to the earlier mark he had left on Alec’s neck as he came inside his parabatai’s very willing body, whispering “I love you” against Alec’s skin.  
  
Feeling and hearing Jace come pushed Alec over the edge a second time and the tears he’d had in his eyes for a while spilled down his cheeks as he squeezed his eyes shut before the overwhelming pleasure that crashed over him.  
  
Instead of putting Alec down right away, Jace melted into him, kissing him breathlessly and nuzzling into his shoulder.  
  
“You smell and taste so good to me, I can’t… fuck.” Jace said, feeling his cock start to stir back to hardness. He willed it to behave though, as he could feel in the bond how exhausted and sore Alec was.  
  
“As far as first times go, this was perfect.” Alec said dreamily. “Thank you.”  
  
“Don’t thank me, I’ve been wanting this for the past two years.” Jace said, pulling out carefully and helping Alec stand on his shaky, now weak legs. With his stele, he drew a few iratzes on Alec’s skin, making his marks vanish and smiling devilishly when Alec decried their loss.  
  
“Don’t worry, Alec. As soon as we get into bed at the Institute, I will give you new ones in spots where you can keep them for as long as they last.”

Alec just nodded, a dreamy look in his eyes. He was currently wondering if it was possible to actually be fucked stupid, because he felt exactly like that. He had known Jace would give him exactly what he needed and more and now he was even more in awe of his parabatai. He looked at Jace, who was painted silver by the cold glow of the moon, and he realised Jace was tucking him back into his underwear and closing his jeans, leading him out of the cemetery by the hand. 

At the Institute, when they arrived, they put in their mission reports and hurried to bed. Jace came to Alec’s room and they showered together, not wanting to give up smelling like each other and touching each other even more.  
  
By the time they fell into bed, they were minutes away from dropping asleep.  
  
“Who knows, if I hadn’t decided to be bad and confess for no reason other than to gain peace of mind, I’d now be wanking and crying, thinking of you and how I can’t have you.” Alec confessed, settling with his head on Jace’s nearby pec.  
  
“What can I say? Sometimes it’s good to be bad.” Jace replied, kissing Alec’s temple lovingly. “I am happy I said something too. But I am the happiest about getting to love you and call you mine for the rest of my life.”  
  
  
(the end)  
  
  



End file.
